ပြန်မစဉ်းစား ချင်သော အတွေး သံတရာ

I float.

I float for a good solid twenty minutes day in and day out. I think about life, family, love, hatred, money, and friendship. 

Nothing lasts.

All thing just rises and recedes naturally, like tides while the meaning of the life seems to remain the same always, which is just to live and be with other people?

It's overwhelming that my feelings and experiences are highly intense in one sense and another, utterly trivial because nothing about my life, the job, the desire, the love affairs struck me as permanent.

I used to think anything was possible, that there were no doors shut behind me, and that out there somewhere, as yet unknown, there were people who would love and admire me and want to make me happy. But I’ve learnt now that this was the delusion of youth. 

What is the purpose of life? 

A question that my reasoning mind can’t seem to answer to that. I go deeper in the hope of figuring it all out. I then realised that the more I think about it, the less I care. And it disappoints me.

F**k life. 

I would say it out loud. I cursed myself. There must be a way out but is there?

I find my heart sinks so fast with anger, desolation and weariness.

I am afraid that it would sink to the very bottom of the deepest ocean on this mighty earth, and I would not be able to lift it back up.

The train of thought never comes to an end. I float to think all over again.

I float.

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