ဟလို ဇွန်
I woke up this morning with nostalgic feelings. I had a dream about my brother, whom I haven’t seen for almost 2 years. In the dream, I was visiting him in his room, but it looked completely different. It was more like a bamboo hut now and he was sharing it with a few people there. He looked fit and fine. I don’t even remember whether I was happy to see him or not, but we exchanged updates about our lives. Then I woke up. I missed him so much that I even texted him on Messenger, even though I knew I probably wouldn’t get a reply.
In the morning, I did my laundry and spent some time on the internet, still thinking about the dream. Later, I worked on my personal project. I’ve been trying to build an offline music library with all the artists I like. I have purchased a MP3 Player. I want to cancel the Spotify streaming service and go back to listening to music offline, like we all used to in the early 2010s. I have been so obsessed with the retro vibe lately. I miss the feeling of downloading songs, arranging them into folders, and listening without needing the active internet connection.
After lunch, I went to a teashop near my house and studied for almost three hours. The teashop was not busy today so I was able to fully concentrate on my studying. On my way back, I popped into the Grab & Go convenience store and bought a can of Coca-Cola and some bread. I’ve been trying to cut down on sugary drinks but once again I broke my own rule. This reminds me of a saying which my mum used to lecture me about - A leopard never changes its spots. Why is it always easy to slip into old habits but hard to stick to the good ones?
During counselling training, I got a message from a friend, Mikey. We had been out of touch for almost a year now. I wanted to reply right away but the timing wasn’t right. I tried reaching out to him after the training but it seemed he had connection issues. My nostalgic feelings got stronger as time passed by. I started missing my old friends and the places I used to visit, and without meaning to I kept listening to Amnesia (A Tate Mae Yaw Gar) by May on repeat. The lyrics echo exactly how I felt today. I want to restart everything if possible.
I still have two writing assignments to finish but I couldn’t bring myself to do them.
Lately, I feel like I’m stuck in a routine: going to school, doing homework, sitting exams, and spending time with others. There are so many things I want to do - I want to go to the seaside, and swim or maybe walk along the shore barefoot. There are a few books/poems I want to read, and a few new films I want to watch, but I feel like time is slipping by way too fast and I do not get to spend enough time of it, to do what I truly enjoy.
Today my thoughts are cluttered, going everywhere, like an untamed monkey, hard to focus, jumping from a dream, to a friend who messaged me, then to music, and the responsibilities I am accountable for..